make me brave

Monday, April 2, 2018

he smelt like a thrift store.
buildings whizzed by as his head leaned against the window.
music played through his coca cola headphones, dug up from a cereal box promising a surprise,
only later realizing nothing is as good as promised.

(except for Jesus) i whispered.

his eyelashes were fluttering-open and close-and i wondered what he was dreaming about.
(are we dreaming about the same things?) i asked.

his face was young, yet his eyes held years only made possible through pain and suffering.
our eyes were so similar.
(you're not alone) cried my heart.

we watched the same world pass all around us as we drove by, and i found myself wondering if our lives were all that different.
after all, Christ died for us both, didn't he?
(tell him!) i screamed.
but i didn't

instead, i watched as he got off the bus, left only to guess who he might be.
left only to hope that someday there might be someone braver than i.
(or that you may become brave) i thought.

Lord, make me brave.


Saturday, March 10, 2018

driving home from work
and i'm tired
so so tired
my heart is heavy and i feel like i've been crying for hours.
it was only five minutes.

but the headlights,
hundreds of them blinding me,
are each holding a person with feelings,
i knowing nothing about.

how small am i?
who am i to think i am so important?
when my life is only a grain of sand in this vast sea
of headlights
shining back at me.

(sometimes it overwhelms me just how many people i pass and all the stories i will never know. but guys, to JESUS, i am so much more than a headlight. and so are you. )

flowers on a rainy day

Friday, March 2, 2018

i told myself i wouldn't fall in love as i sat across from you in the coffee shop.
you'd ordered one of those foamy caramel drinks.
i, an iced tea.
you smiled and gave me a hug.
it was warm and sweet.
and we sat down, both just content with each other's smiles and the background music of old couples laughing and coffee being made.

you told me about your adventures, and the kids you so badly wanted to help, and what makes a culture beautiful.
i watched the way your hands moved and your eyes sparkled as you talked about what you were passionate about,
and how you would lean forward as i spoke about where i hoped my life would go, and how pineapples were my favorite fruit, and how i loved flowers on a rainy day,
as if they were the most interesting things you had ever heard.

and as we left, i reminded myself
   don't fall in love.
but you walked me out to my car and gave me a hug goodbye,
and i knew it was already too late.